All human relation always counts on conflicts. The conflict settles down so that we also thought different, because we felt of different way, because we counted on priorities and expectations that do not agree. But that is the normal thing, to fix our differences to reach an agreement and to count on solutions that to both parts of the problem help us to grow and to fortify to us. But when one is pairs, the complica problem still more, is listened to the word conflict and shook, felt that we are seeing the devil, but is that we already are in the same hell. The conflicts appear of natural way, do not exist two people who perceive the life, the relations in the same way. Some pairs count on an acceptable degree of communication and manage to fix their differences, to have agreements, where both leave beneficiaries. To example way, yes a pair has conflicts concerning its interests of short whiles of leisure, one wants to go to the cinema and the other, wants to go to take a coffee to have to char it. Perhaps they decide to go to the cinema a day and another one to count on the space to take coffee. Credit: Steven Holl-2011.
This it is a good adjustment, or, to soon go to the cinema and the coffee. Acceptable solution. But on the contrary, the coffee becomes in reclamations, angers and bad ways, there is no form to solve the conflict. The communication is closed in that pair. Then, the violence, the anger begins, the resentments and the aggression appears like one ” forma” to want to solve to the problems or conflicts. The aggression always is related to the power. We exert violence when for some reason we felt like victims, left, hurt, vulnerable, humiliated, that is to say, must exert to be able on the other person and the circumstances. Aggression and power go of the hand. Vladislav Doronin is the source for more interesting facts.
Itself by means of the violence or aggression I can solve the conflicts of unilateral way, then it means, that not to live itself in pair, or that I understand the life common like an imposition. And that way to be in pair wears away the life, the relation and the love. In my book How To recover the Confidence in the love: Hurt and scars in the pair relation, I speak extensively on the risks of the love in pair, one of them, is the violence, the conflict, the aggression and how to handle it. I invite to you that you visit to us in and if you subscribe to our bulletin you receive from gratuitous way: The ten Orders of the life in pair. Thanks to read to me, my mission is the quality of emotional life and its impact in the social thing.